I have started and ended this blog 3 different times, each going to be about a different thing. Each time I stop shortly after (a few days, a few weeks or a few blog posts) because I create SO MANY EXCUSES!
I have learned so much more about myself in the past few weeks than I have in my previous 20.5 years of life. To be completely honest with you all, I thought that these last 9 months I had it all figured out. I was my best self and I was living my best life. I was WRONG. My life has changed dramatically these past 3 months and it’s been one bumpy ride. Before March of 2020, when life was full functioning, I had a daily routine that was the same almost to the minute. I got up, got ready in the exact same order every morning, went to school (I was a student teacher), worked out after school (same workout classes at the same time with the same instructors every week), cooked dinner and went to bed. On the weekends, I would go to the same bars with the same people, and have the exact same routines. Writing this and reading it back I just think WHAT THE HELL. Yes I was happy and had everything in order but I was not where I needed to be, mentally, physically, spiritually…. I was just BUSY.
The New Normal
So then this virus hit and my world came to a screeching halt. I thrive on routine, my anxiety and slight OCD needs a routine and let me tell you. Nothing screams ‘No Routine’ like going from the busy schedule listed above to laying in bed all day with no where to go (🙃). I could complain, be grumpy and miserable…and I have. Not all the time but I have thrown quite the pitty party, but thats okay. In a crazy way, I needed this quarantine. I needed to slow down, I needed to face my mental health, I needed to face change and uncertainty. It has honestly been the biggest blessing. Now I miss my friends, and going out to stores and restaurants (yes target… hi) and my workout classes. BUT what I have gotten out of this experience is myself.
I am over letting other people’s opinions affect me, I’m over letting fear and doubt ruin what could have been. I have had this feeling of wanting to do a blog for YEARS and never had because I have been too worried about what others may think. Well adios negativity because now I’m doing this for me. I don’t need a blog about one particular topic and have tips and tricks in every post. I need to write what I want, about what I’m passionate about. So that’s exactly what I am going to do.
So here we are again! An improved me because I now know who I am and what I want. About time I take my own advice in all aspects of my life.